So I haven't written a post in a while & a lot has changed & I'm definitely in the mood for writing right now...I guess it just helps me get everything off my chest.
Umm...where to start? I'll start off easy, lol.
Right now I'm in fall term at school taking four classes. I am loving Photography, but my other three classes are killing me! I am also rehearsing right now for the play Oklahoma! I play the part of Ado Annie and I am really starting to get into my character & enjoy it.
Besides that I've been hanging out with my bestie Amanda all the time partying it up!We just recently went on a random road trip to see the sunrise at the beach...it was hilarious lol!
Now for the harder parts. I have been really depressed lately and let me tell you it sucks. I have gained all my weight back and I'm just not the old Heather I used to be.
My bestest friend in the entire world, the closest person to me that I could tell anything to and who I got soooo close with this year, is completely out of my life. I still don't know how to handle this. Pretty much he is attending a private college this year that says we are not allowed to be close friends the way we were this year because it promotes the wrong thing i guess? I don't know. Apparently we're not even allowed to go to a public place together to have dinner, because it would look like we're dating and dating is not allowed there. To go from seeing someone everyday, calling and texting them as soon as they left your house, missing them when you dont see them for a day to.....nothing. It is so heart wrenching I can not even begin to explain to you. I have cried too many tears and laid in bed for too many hours. But it still hurts and I still care. Even though everyone tells me I have to let go and move on with my life...how can I do that? I love him. I always have. Always & Forever. But a lot can happen in a year...and I told him that. I mean what if we died tomorrow? Then we would never get a chance to fix this horrible separation all because of this school. I hate it. And I really hate to admit that I feel like this school is tearing me away from God and that is the worst possible thing that can happen. But all I keep thinking is if this Christian school tears everyone's relationships apart, how am I supposed to believe in it? But I know God will get me through this. Somehow I will find the strength to move on and say I don't need you. I just have to pray and not let this school come in my way. I just wish things could go back to the way they were...and I know they will never ever be that way again. It breaks my heart. Thank God for my friends Amanda and Cameron who are always there for me. The other thing that sucks is Cameron recently started school in Lakeland so I dont see him nearly as much as I used to. It really hurts I feel like all at once my best friends left me..but one was a little different than the other. I guess only time will tell what will happen. I just hate that I let it get to me so much and he has already moved on with his life....crazy this life huh? So anyways...that's the update for now. I'm just gonna continue doing my thing with school, theatre, and the awesome friends I still have :) Oh & P.S., on a happier note I just watched Avatar for the second time...that movie is amazing gosh, I think I cried a little lol!!
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