I wish you could see what you're doing to the ones that love you.

There's a man that I knew growing up. He is like an Uncle to me. He is my Dad's best friend. And he is also a Heroin addict. He has almost died two or three times now, but God has saved him for some unknown reason and he does not realize how lucky and special he is.

He has two daughters who he never sees and a mother who has been put through hell seeing him throw his life away.

A couple years ago the doctors said he had days to live. My parents flew up to say goodbye to them and I stayed at home by myself. One day as I was driving home from school I just lost it, started bawling uncontrollably. And just prayed that God would save him, this man who so many people love and who has touched my heart. And he did. He saved him. Even as I type this tears roll down my cheek...

He has made so many mistakes in his life, but he has done good as well. He was always there for my family when I was younger and he used to be so fun. I just remember always smiling when I was near him and how much of an Uncle figure he became for me.

I just wish he could see how this is destroying his family, my Dad, and even me. Everyone is starting to give up on him...even his Mom. But my Dad refuses to. And that really touches my heart.

I refuse to give up on him either. My God is an amazing God, who does miracles and I believe that this man's life is not over yet and he still has many other hearts to touch on this planet.

I pray for him, for his recovery, and for him to find the will to stop doing drugs and to become a better person, and be there for his family and friends.

I pray that he lets God into his heart and realizes the errors of his ways.

I pray that I don't have to go to his funeral in the next couple of years and see my Dad cry over an amazing friend who has destroyed himself.

I pray that one day he will go back to the way he was in the old days and be my Uncle figure once more.

Why do things happen like this? Why do people do drugs to feel better, when all it does is destroy their health and the people around them??

He may not be my best friend, but he is a part of my life and I will never forget him. And I hope, I pray that God has amazing plans for him in the future, that is life is not over yet.

Never Give Up Hope.

Until Next Time,
Heather

Valentine's Day....ugh

I was watching tv earlier & a show on MTV showed a girl not very happy about the handing out of carnations on V-Day at school.

That girl was me in high school.

Who am I kidding? I'm still that girl lol.

Every Valentine's Day I always hoped I would get a flower, but I never did. I saw all my friends with their boyfriends in the hallway with stuffed animals, flowers, balloons, and many kisses and was very jealous. And of course very depressed.

I like the term that many people have come up with : Single's Awareness Day.

So Valentine's Day is approaching, once again, and I'm wondering whats the best way to spend it this year so as not to be depressed and watch romantic movies that make me more depressed.lol I'm a girl, what can I say. I'm pathetic.

So anyone want to spend Single's Awareness Day with me? lol
Wanna be my valentine?

To all you single ladies..haha flashbacks of Justin Timberlake dancing on SNL and Glee dancing to the song on the football field lol :)....don't stay home and be depressed! Lets go out and have fun & make it a Valentines Day to remember :)

Seen the preview for "Valentines Day"?? It actually looks pretty good. Funny too, which is exactly what I'm looking for.

So anyways...guess I just was wondering how and with who I am going to spend my V-Day with. And now I got you thinking as well lol :)

Until next time,
Heather

Smart people and school usually linked right? Wrong.

People go to school, college in this example, to become more educated, right?
To master a subject, to have something to go into as a career.
Well, what I would like to know is why are the employees at schools so stupid then??!??
Of course not all of them are idiots that don't know how to do their job, but you get my point.

College Experience #1: Getting the school my English 1 records.

I took AP Eng in High School and passed the exam so I got out of Freshman English 1. I had the records sent directly to the school AND when I came in to register for classes, I brought a copy of my records and showed them to an employee who said it was all taken care of.

Then, when I go to register with a counselor she says she doesn't see the records in the computer and goes to talk to the lady I showed my paper to. She comes back says it is all good and I leave.

Last Friday, I get a call. Hi this is the counselor from SFCC, could you bring your records of your English One Class in on Monday??

Like are you kidding me?? She made a copy this Monday. I HOPE that's the last of that, considering I'm taking English 2 now.

College Experience #2: Getting a Scholarship.
I was the Top Ten percent in High School so I got a scholarship for $400 per term for books.
Once again, when I went to register I saw a Dean and we searched through the papers for a while and she finally found the records and said it was all taken care of.

This week I noticed it wasn't in my account. I go to the Dean again, and find out that the Dean I had talked to before RETIRED and never took care of giving my information to the cashier or whoever!! UGH!! So the whole process resumed again, this Dean searched and searched for a record of SHS's Top Ten percent and she FINALLY found it. She said to check at the Cashier in 30 minutes and it would be in my account. Sure enough, it was.

Turns out the Dean who retired, couldn't take the five minutes or whatever it takes to call the cashier and have it processed! That was her job, I mean come on now!! At least this Dean has her stuff together.

These two college experiences have happened within the first week of classes my first semester...interesting, huh?

Can't wait to see what happens next.

Until next time,
Heather

You Can't Always Get What You Want...

Hello! If you're reading this then thanks for actually taking the time to check out my blog :)
This is my first entry, so bare with me. Last week I started school at SFCC; my major is Mass Communications. So far school has been great. The problem, as usual, is men. lol

I just came back from spending the past 6 months in Pawtucket, RI with my Dad's side of the family. I lived with my grandmother and uncle who speak Portuguese so I picked up on a few words. Mostly related to food since my family loves food so much lol. For example, chicken is galinga :)

When I got home, I went to a New Year's Eve Party with a guy friend & had a GREAT time :)
But the next day, it just felt awkward..idk, rushed I suppose?

Anyways, so after that I haven't really seen much of that guy friend..kind of sad, but honestly I don't know if our personalities are similar enough to carry a conversation and just be interested in the other's hobbies.

Moving on to guy # 2, I swear I'm not a slut or anything I just have a lot of guy friends in my life.

Believe it or not, but I got my first kiss this year! 18 years old! So, yeah definitely not a slut.lol

We shall call guy # 2 Bob, for purposes of..I don't know just to keep it general, lol.

I met Bob my Junior Year of High School. Right off the bat I knew he had a thing for me, and I had a LOT of fun with him in class. He was so easy to talk to and his smile brightened my day everytime I saw it. And his eyes, I don't know how to describe it, but those eyes are so memorable to me.

Anyways, at the time I was seriously shy. I liked to flirt, but wasn't really ready for a relationship. I was scared, I mean come on I just told you I just got my first kiss recently!!
I turned him away, and I believe I hurt him. Which upsets me VERY much.

We didn't talk for a while & then we started texting and flirting like crazy again last year & then all of a sudden he stopped talking to me. For days I tried to figure out what I had done, or if something was wrong personally in his life. Finally he told me that I was the kind of girl he could see himself marrying...??? That was about the extent of my explanation.

After that, I randomly get texts from him & it ALWAYS makes me smile, but then whenever I see him or talk about hanging out with him, he kind of gets weird, and I don't hear from him for a while. I don't know, maybe he just doesn't like me. But I feel the chemistry between us, and I just wish he could see I'm not playing with his heart and I wish he would stop playing with mine!

I'm more ready for a relationship now then I ever was in High School. I'm glad I waited so I can make my first real relationship meaningful.Not like stupid High School relationships. I don't know..it just hurts. Today I saw him and felt like just asking why???

One of my best friends saw that I was in a bad mood after I saw "Bob" and gave me the best advice "Its not worth being upset over, whatever it is"

So "Bob", if you're reading, I just want you to know that I do care about you but I'm done putting my heart on my sleeve for you to just walk all over. No More.

And the plot thickens.

I want to find someone, that I care about who cares about me and is not so passive and can actually take the lead in the relationship, and who can make me laugh and smile and who has the same beliefs as me and some of the same interests.

But, You can't always get what you want now can you?

P.S. like my blog title? Isn't it clever? on the line? like online? haha.... Ok maybe its not that clever or funny for that matter.lol ;)

Until Next Time,
Heather